Every Woman Needs a GWA !
Every once in a while, us girls, need some time away to bond with other females. We need time away from our professions, our families, our responsibilities and more … so that we can just relax, have fun and worry about nothing but ourselves. Some women just need a day of this, others a night and some even a full weekend of it. Everyone is different. Some might think a Girls Weekend Away is just an excuse for a bunch of married women to go out and party! Maybe to some girls it is but,on the whole, women just need some time to themselves, especially Moms!
My last G.W. A was fun and well deserved! Every year, I go away for the weekend with my sisters and we usually pick Whistler as our destination. This past June, my sisters and I, along with added friends, drove up to Whistler to enjoy a kid-free weekend. It was the first time, since my youngest was born, that I had been away from home longer than a few hours. I left all three girls with Daddy and prayed the whole drive up to Whistler that they would cooperate for him. It pretty much took me the entire first night to get over feeling guilty leaving my kids and my husband at home. Weird, I know. No one ever felt guilty leaving the kids with me from Monday to Friday back then while I was still on maternity leave. Silly, how us Moms can be. We take so much upon ourselves and worry too much. Dads are just as capable, if not more, to take care of the children on their own. Once the feelings of guilt subsided though, there was a lot of fun that was had and many memories that were made.
Our GWA was filled with dining out, sleeping in, enjoying fine wine, dancing, meeting people, shopping and a run in with a coyote. The usual, except for the coyote. A special twist added to our eventful weekend. Things can get quite funny when a bunch of women sit around drinking wine and telling stories. You learn a lot about your friends. As much as I wanted nothing more than to sleep away my Saturday that weekend to catch up on lost sleep from waking up with the baby every night up until then, I was not allowed to do such a thing. Not a moment was to be wasted sleeping when we could be out having fun and spending time on nothing else but ourselves. It was SO fun hanging out with such a fabulous group of girls, my sisters included. I hope to take this trip again next year.
Cheers to Gina, Sabrina, Rita, Nicole, Daphne, Holley and Caitlin:) You sexy ladies rock!
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My husband thinks I’m like Monica Geller from the show, FRIENDS. How exactly? He thinks I suffer from OCD: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. What does he know? Just because I like things clean and in order doesn’t make me OCD. I don’t even think I’m a CLEAN-FREAK. So what am I then? I’ll tell you …
I’m simply… a woman. On average <and not that I’ve taken any surveys or collected any data on this matter>, women generally like things clean and in their place. A good friend of mine shared her wonderful philosophy about stuff and how it should be kept in a house. Simply put by her, ” everything has a place”. I couldn’t agree with her more. Everything SHOULD have a place in a home, an office, a classroom – you get my drift. At home, we teach children from the time they’re young to put things back where they came from before playing with something new. At school, the same is taught with things children use and play with in a classroom. So, why would it be any different for adults?
I will admit, I like things tidy and organized. I love Ikea simply because they cater to the idea of “organizing stuff”. They have anything and everything you need to organize your closets, cupboards, bedrooms, playrooms, living rooms, kitchens…you name it, they have a way to organize it. Who doesn’t like shopping at Ikea? Besides my dad, absolutely no one. Everyone loves Ikea! Those of you who know me as a teacher and have visited my classroom, will not be surprised to find things colour coded, labeled, arranged by subject or number. Bins, buckets, magazine boxes and shelves are all labeled with appropriate names so substitutes or children will easily be able to find what they need or know where to put something back. My classroom is always clean and the furniture aligned. The children are taught to follow the organization of the classroom and they love knowing where to find or return something. It’s wonderful.
Those of you who know me as a friend, a Mom, a sister or a daughter, know that I try to keep things organized and clean at home too. Unless everyone is on board though, keeping things organized isn’t as easy and especially when you have a 16 month old who loves to turn everything upside down, pull things out from their places and spread her toys all over the family room floor. I’m working on teaching her to clean up after herself but it usually requires me singing the clean-up song to elicit the desired behaviour. It’ll come with time…after all, she’s a girl who, eventually, will grow to be a woman. Enough said.
Keeping things organized makes life so much easier and especially when you have kids. Life passes much more smoothly when things are in their place and you never have to waste time trying to find them. If you put it back where it belongs, it’ll be there waiting for you the next time you need it. Yay!
So what have we learned today?
“Everything has a place”!
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Girl Mania!
There is never a dull moment at our house. Having three daughters keeps life pretty busy and especially because two of them are under the age of four. My husband is surrounded by us girls 24/7. There is no escaping it either. From the moment he walks through our front door after work each day, his time is monopolized by the emotions and needs of our three daughters…oh and me, of course <wink>. No chance for a moment of peace or solitude for him until bedtime. We need him and we don’t let him go.
I don’t know why it is but all girls love their daddy. Mine can’t wait until he comes home from work and when they see him come through our front door, they run like a herd of animals to embrace and welcome him. Then, all they want is his undivided attention for the rest of the night. Whether it is kicking around a mini soccer ball, listening to him play guitar or playing games, the girls are happy as long as daddy is paying attention to them. Any chance for daddy to watch a sports game is out the door, although he will try. He’ll bring out his laptop, place it carefully high enough on a shelf so that our youngest can’t grab it but low enough for him to glance at it in between playing with the girls. The rare occasion the girls don’t catch on, daddy manages to happily watch a game and keep his girls entertained at the same time.
What am I doing during the time the girls want daddy? I would love to tell you I’m doing something fabulous and fun but unfortunately, all I have time for is kitchen cleaning and preparation for the next day of work/daycare OR catching up on chores I don’t get to during the days I’m not at work. Laundry and tidying up toys seems never ending. When daddy’s not around though, the girls want to play with Me. This Mom doesn’t have a chance in Jupiter to do much of anything else except explore play-dough, play house and whip up art activities. I manage to come up with a blog post now and then when my youngest is sleeping but that’s about it.
Girls, girls, girls…the display of emotion and the expression of feelings in on-going with girls. Heck, add mine to the mix and sometimes it’s a freak-show. Just kidding. It’s not THAT bad. If you’re a woman, you know exactly what I mean. Needless to say, my husband is very well cared for. We have an abundance of love and hugs to give him on a regular basis. As much as he pretends to not be impressed by the “girl-mania” stuff that goes on, he loves watching the girls grow, say cute things, sing songs for him and make him pretty pictures. Our eldest daughter especially enjoys her heart-to-heart talks with dad. He’s a good listener.
So there you go! Not a hint of blue or boys in our house except from what comes from daddy. He is our only boy and we love him very much:)
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All Day Kindergarten
Many of you have probably heard the talk about Kindergarten going full-time in the 2010-11 school year. There’s been talk about doing this for a few years now. Some people like the idea and others do not. As a Mom and an elementary school teacher, I have my own opinion.
Things have changed a lot since I was a child entering Kindergarten and that was almost 35 years ago. At that time, my mom was a homemaker and we were use to going home for lunch and seeing her at all school events. I took a nap after lunch and after school activities consisted of Tuesday evening Catechism classes at our local church. Life was pretty simple. Today, life is a little faster paced. Many Moms and Dads work full-time and the little ones are attending daycare at a young age. Most facilities are set up like Preschools and run them with routines, activities, lessons and snack times. Kids are so use to being in this type of structured school-like environment. So, the questions is: “Are kids today ready to be in school all day at the age of 5 “? The answer is yes. Would they benefit from such a change in the school system? Yes!
Kids today are so much more advanced in socializing and interacting with other children. Most of them have had ample opportunity to learn these skills in daycare or Preschool environments. My three and a half year old has been on a computer since the age of two and can play most of the games on Starfall.com and Nickelodeon Jr. com. She is the most computer savvy person I know under the age of four. She can man a computer better than me and both sets of grandparents. It’s wonderful! Children today are involved in numerous outside activities such as dance, piano, drop in play groups, art classes and sports by the time they turn three years old, if not younger. They are SO ready to be in an all-day Kindergarten environment and be successful.
There are parents who like the idea and some who do not. I think most of the parents that are not one hundred percent convinced they want full-day Kinder for their kids are those stay-at-home Moms who may not be ready themselves to let go of their babies for a full-day yet. It’s hard being a Mom and watching your child go off to school when they’ve been home with you all of this time. It’s more of an adjustment for Mom than it is for their child. I know first hand how hard it is to watch your little one go off to school. You worry about them. It’s one of Motherhood’s most challenging moments – letting go.
As a teacher, I think a full day of Kindergarten is very beneficial. Five year-olds today are definitely up for the challenge and will most likely enjoy it and be successful. Not only will they be better prepared to take on the full day of Grade One but they will also enter first grade with the necessary skills to transition into the reading and writing components of this very important year. I, myself, am very excited about the new full day program and cannot wait to register my daughter for it when her time comes. I know she will love it and if she’s happy, I’m happy. I can’t ask for anything more.
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Friends
Ever feel like if it weren’t for you, your friends would never get together? Are you the one who is always making the plans and arrangements for a “Girls Night Out” and no one else ever steps forward to organize an outing? Well, you can join my club. Let me introduce myself. I am, The Social Coordinator, at my work and what seems in my life with numerous groups of different friends. Yes, I am THAT one friend who is always trying to organize a get together. Maybe it’s because I’m a part-time, stay-at-home-Mom and need the social interaction of my girlfriends. Whatever the reason, I am the motivating force behind many GNO’s. Whether my girlfriends like it or not, I am always planning the next event. Someone has to step up to the plate. Those who know me well know that I don’t give up easily …
Think about it though. Have we become so wrapped up in our own lives, so busy with schedules, so focused on our kids’ activities that we forget how important it is to nurture the friendships we still have or the ones we could possibly be making? How did our parents manage to ” do all of life ” and still keep strong their friendship ties? Why was it so easy for them? Why are we SO busy all of the time?
Over the years, my definition of a friend has evolved with time and what I use to consider to be the qualifications of a friend has changed dramatically. Today, I think a friend should value you just as much as you value them. Friends don’t say, “Let’s do something next week” and then never call you to set a time. Good friends follow through. Don’t get me wrong – I do have friends who stay in touch and make an effort to see me but they are few. I like to be a little over-dramatic when I write but I truly do believe that life is too short … we need to value all that is good in our lives and make sure we don’t forget to nurture our friendships too. One day, we may need them.
To all my friends out there – you know I love you. Let’s get together 
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A few years ago, a good friend and colleague of mine lost a child to Leukemia. Her son was only 18 months old.
Brenden’s Story
At 11 weeks old, Brenden was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL). He went through many rounds of chemotherapy and all the ups and downs a child with Cancer endures. Unfortunately, the Cancer was too strong and he ended up passing away on January 31st of 2007. He was only 18 months old. There is not a day that passes that the parents don’t think of their precious ANGEL. He taught everyone about life, love, hope, believing, living in the moment, having no regrets, enjoying the times when things are great and enduring when things are not. He was truly the greatest teacher. All who were fortunate enough to have met him or have him in their lives are blessed. Even though his stay on Earth was short, Brenden touched the hearts of many. His parents would do it all over again just to have him in their arms for a moment.
My Story
This next Saturday, October 17th I, along with a team of friends and family, will walk in memory and honour of Brenden at the “Light the Night” walk at a local Vancouver venue. Brenden’s parents do this walk every year to keep his memory alive and to help raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. It’s only one of the many ways Brenden’s memory is kept alive. It is especially important for me to participate in this walk because Brenden’s mom is not only my friend but also my colleague and job-share partner. We have a story, her and I, but not one I feel necessary to retell. I am just so glad that GOD has brought us together and that we have the opportunity to work so closely together this year. Her friendship means a great deal to me and there isn’t a day that passes that I don’t feel her sadness for her loss. No mother should EVER have to lose a child. It is something so tragic to endure I can’t even think about it. No one ever expects something like this to happen to them. It’s so unfair.
So … no, I’m not running a big, long marathon or doing a super hard triathlon. I’m just walking. I’m walking to remember Brenden – the sweetest little angel in Heaven.
I would like to send out a big thank you to all of the people who have sponsored me on this walk so far. It makes me feel so good when people reach out and give. Family, friends, and colleagues have all been so very generous. Thank you.
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Teaching First Grade
Every year I get a new batch of Kinder graduates that join me in my First Grade classroom. I call them Kinders because they come to me still in Kindergarten mode. It’s so funny to watch them slowly adjust and adapt to the change of routines and expectations.
We spend the entire month of September establishing routines like how to hang up backpacks and jackets, how to line-up, sit properly at the carpet and how to walk quietly through the hallways. One of the most difficult things for kids at the beginning of Grade One is staying at school for a full day. Many of them end up falling asleep at their desks in the afternoon. You almost feel bad waking them up. Other students have difficulty remembering not to eat their entire lunch at recess snack time. You find yourself repeating instructions over and over again, mediating conflicts, reminding students to wipe noses with tissue, sneeze into their elbows, remember to say please and thank you, clean up after themselves before starting something new, encouraging them to tie their own shoes, push in their chairs when leaving their desks and taking home their belongings. As a teacher, the month of September is the most exhausting because you feel like you’re more of a mother to a class of students than you are their teacher.
We’re in the month of October now and I can honestly say that my students are just now getting the hang of the new routines and expectations of First Grade with the exception of a few students. So far, we’ve established we must sit Criss, Cross, Appleasauce at the carpet, stand quietly in a line-up, wait patiently for our turn and stop talking when the teacher starts clapping out a pattern or turns off the lights. We’re still working on talking out our problems rather than using our hands to deal with anger, raising hands when wanting to share a thought or idea and sitting quietly during instruction time. Tattling on each other is never ending with this age group. It drives us teachers nuts!
This age group is so very innocent and sweet. Most of the kids genuinely just want to please you. They tell you absolutely everything that goes on in their lives and often times will tell you things you pretend not to hear. They’re open about their bathroom routines and feel the need to tell you exactly why they need to go to the washroom. Already this year, we’ve had 3 bathroom accidents and 1 boy who ran out of the classroom holding his behind because he was about to lose control of his bowels. Poor little guy. It’s SO hard not to laugh at some of the things the kids say or do. It takes all of my strength to keep a straight face. They come to you each morning with a story to tell or a hug to give you. They look to you for guidance, approval and love. It doesn’t take long to grow attached to a group of kids no matter how easy or difficult they make your job. Provide them with a safe, risk-free environment that stimulates learning, provides love and fosters the ability for each child to be themselves and be proud and you’ve given them so much already.
The true meaning of teacher = teacher, mother, friend, nurse, judge and counselor. It’s what they need and what we naturally become for them:)
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Forever 39
OMG! In less than six months, I’m turning forty – as in the BIG 4-0. Who would have thought? Not me, that’s for sure. In my mind, I’m always the same age. I have to admit though, I am noticing signs of the aging process. Funny, because you never think it’s going to happen to you. You watch others getting older like aunts, uncles, grandparents and your parents even but you never think you will ever be added to the list.
What happens? Hrm … where do you want me to start?
For one, try doing a cartwheel. My daughter asked this Summer if I knew how to do a cartwheel. I said, “Yeah, of course. I was the best at them”. She laughed and said, “Let’s see!” So I do one and it was absolutely perfect. My form was amazing and my land, nothing short of perfection! Daughter was impressed and I walked away feeling pretty darn good…until later that evening when every muscle in my body began to ache. Muscles I didn’t know existed made themselves known to me. Ouch! So I ask myself, “Bruna when was the last time you exercised”? Silence. No comment. That’s EXACTLY the problem. All these years, I have managed somehow to get away with not exercising. I have managed to stay slim and look pretty good. Thanks Dad for the slim genetics. Yeah, yeah, yeah …well the slim genetics stop working by the second child and moreso especially if you’re having babies in your late 30’s…which is me. No regrets though…just a lot harder to get rid of the fat. I’m talking about the fat that you accumulate during pregnancy. Try being pregnant 18 months in 3 years! Just as you get one child to the age of 1, you get pregnant again. Doesn’t give your body much chance to recover. Oh well, it’s a blessing though, isn’t it? Children. Gotta love them! So we don’t complain. We just go on. So here I am now. Finished having children, out of shape and sore after doing one cartwheel. OH my goodness! Time to get to a gym!
What else? Is that all I’ve got? No. I wish. Let’s talk about hormone changes and what that entails. Put your hand up if you have to wax or pluck your eyebrows? Upper lip? Cool. That’s a good percentage of women unless you’re fortunate to be one of the lucky ones and born hairless. We don’t like you. Jealous, yes! Put your hand up if you have to pluck facial hair? Come on, don’t be embarrassed. You’re not the only one. Apparently, Mother Nature feels it necessary to bless our 40 year old bodies with an added feature. Random, dark hairs that secretly appear on your face – particularly around the chin area – when you’re not paying attention. This probably only happens with brunettes but the day comes when you notice one while looking in the mirror and you’re horrified! Isn’t it enough we have a uni-brow and upper lip hair to deal with? Is it really necessary to add random chin hairs to the list? NO. Let’s discuss this hair issue even further. How many of you have noticed gray hairs growing amongst your beautiful locks of dark brown hair? I have! Slowly but surely, little grey hairs are popping out. They’re very devious and take over the underneath layers of your hair first and mostly the hair that covers the area around your face. Put your hair up in a pony-tail and there they are! Wear your hair down and you can live in denial for a while longer. Who gets white/grey hairs at 39? I ask my parents when they started getting white/grey hairs and both of them answer, “Not as young as 39″. Great. Thanks Mom and Dad. Do I believe them? I don’t know. What difference does it make now? I have them. Question now is … do I start colouring my hair to conceal them or do I embrace them with proud, open arms? This is part of life. I don’t look bad with them…not yet anyways. OH geesh!
More? What could be worse than being out of shape and body hair? When you go shopping for new clothes for work and every store has nothing but 80’s clothes you KNOW you shouldn’t wear at 39. You looked awful in them in the 80’s, why would you ever sport that style again? Ugh…but you see everyone around you buying the clothes and the shoes and you’re torn. How should a 39 year old be dressing? What stores should you be shopping in? You know, in your heart, you want to still be able to pull off American Eagle, Aeropostle, Old Navy, Sirens, Urban Behaviour type clothes but you’re body and your mind is telling you…uhhhh, I don’t think so. You’re going to look like a teeny-bopper wanna-be! You know though, that other 39 years old are wearing the stuff and looking amazing in it. Why can’t you? TORN. When did shopping for clothes ever get to be so difficult? Who has difficulties spending money on clothes? Girls? No way. Just me. So do I go ahead and buy the over sized sweaters, bubble dress, old-Madonna-style heeled boot and skinny jeans? Decisions, decisions.
SO here we are … 39 and getting older by the minute! I know I’m not going to stay 39 forever. I have six months though…to make sure turning 40 is something amazing and memorable. I am definitely one of those people who loves birthdays. Getting older doesn’t scare me. It comes with it’s adjustments but I welcome each new year with pride. If everyone, at 40, could be blessed with all that I have in my life right now, they would be so lucky. I thank God every day for my health, my family and the love that surrounds every moment of my existence.
40! Here I come …..
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Date Night
I don’t care what anyone says. Time alone with your spouse is necessary to maintain a loving and connected relationship and moreso in today’s frantic and chaotic world. It’s easy when you’re newly married and children are no where to be seen or heard. The house is always silent and the only person you need to worry about is yourself and your significant other. Even without children around, life gets busy and work can take up alot of time and energy in life. It’s really important, even at this stage of life, to find time to spend with your spouse where you can talk and do something fun together. Relationships are hard and never should you take for granted that your partner know how much you love, value and respect them. It is SO nice to hear the words. I love you, I’m proud of you, thank you and what can I do for you are things that couples should say to one another on a regular basis and mean it. Who doesn’t like to be told that they look great, cute, sexy or young? Man or woman, everyone needs a little romance in their lives even when married. Romance can mean different things for different people which is why it’s important to find out what it means for your partner and use the knowledge to help nuture your relationship with that person. The saying, “A happy wife means a happy life” goes both ways. A “happy husband” means he won’t mind if you spend a bit too much shopping or cleaning the bathrooms if you ask him nicely. As much as us women can often feel unappreciated, so can men. Everyone needs to be reminded of how valuable they are in their world. Sounds pretty simple but isn’t always easy. It takes a conscientious effort to make a relationship work. Which is why I’ve titled this post, Date Night! I am a true believer that on top of thanking your partner for everything they bring to the relationship and reminding them how grateful you are that they are in your life – we have to spend genuine, fun, quality time together. This is especially true once children enter into the relationship picture. As important as it is to do things as a family as much as possible, it is SO important for parents to have time alone together. Time to talk, think or cuddle even. Every couple needs time to get back to their original form – not mother or father, wife or husband – just HE and SHE. The two people who, originally, found love in each other’s eyes. As sappy as this sounds, it’s SO true. Take my words and put them away somewhere safe in your place for random information. Relationships need to be cared for as are children. There is no difference. So Grandma’s, Grandpa’s, siblings, friends and extended family – say yes, if a couple you know asks you to babysit so they can spend some quality time together. You will be giving them the greatest gift♥.
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Sisters
I don’t really remember when my sister was born; although I’ve been told I was three years old at the time and not the least bit interested in her arrival. I was three! I’m sure I thought she was cool in some kind of way. Of course when my mother tells the story, she says I cared more about playing with my neighbour friends than I did about spending time with my new sister. Do you blame me ? All she did was eat and sleep…and take my Mother’s attention away from me. I played the ” I dont’ really care” card to cover what I was really feeling – jealous. Up until she showed up, I was running the show. She stole my thunder. I only ignored her because it was my way of coping with change.
Growing up, this sister of mine, needed me … a lot. She was really shy. At home, she was outgoing and talkative. In the real world, she was reserved and timid. I remember taking her to Kindergarten class and her hanging onto my leg for dear life, crying. I felt for her, really I did. She was always scared if we weren’t there to be with her. I remember back then not understanding why she was so shy and scared all the time. I was the complete opposite. You could leave me with anyone, anywhere and it was not a big deal. Different personalities. My sister slowly adjusted to change in her life. It just took her a lot longer than me.
My sister and I shared many years and made many lasting memories we each retell from our own perspective. We shared silly, emotional and life changing moments together. I was her big sis and she was my little sis. I was Daddy’s girl and she was Mommy’s girl. That’s the way we remember it and it was that way until another sister blessed our family. When you’re young and right in the thick of it, you don’t really appreciate the importance of having siblings. A sister is a special blessing and it isn’t until you’re an adult when you’re truly mature enough to appreciate and cherish such a thing. I’m sure, over the years, my sister felt that I didn’t love her or appreciate her. She may have often felt I ignored her at different times in our lives. There was never a time I didn’t worry about her, think about her, want the best for her or cry for her. That’s what sisters do and sometimes we don’t always tell the other just how important they are in our lives. We take things so for granted these days.
I think about my sisters often and think about how different each of us are in so many ways. I am three and a half years older than middle sister and 12 years older than our baby sister. Everyone always tells us how much we look alike and how similar our voices are on the phone. Our husbands think our mannerisms are the same and that we all love to argue when we’re together. The arguing part comes from being Italian and not from being sisters! <Side joke> When it comes down to it though, we really are very unique. As relatives have said in the past, I’m the sweet one and my middle sister is the beautiful one. I wasn’t always happy with the aunts who felt it necessary to repeat this over and over to us. Of course, once our baby sister arrived, everyone made a big deal about her and we became a thing of the past. They say the youngest is spoiled and doted upon and I believe it’s true. The oldest, like myself, gets spoiled but only until the next child comes along and then it stops and has to be shared. The middle child though ends up getting shafted because once the baby shows up, the middle child has to work harder for attention. To this day, my baby sis has the best seat in the house of family. Not married or with children, she is the one to whom the parentals pay the most attention. Doesn’t matter if she’s 27 and a career woman, they always call her baby and beg her to come over for dinner. Nothing changes. The oldest is looked upon for the responsible things and often scolded when another sibling is hurt or feeling neglected. Parents expect the oldest to influence the decisions and choices of the other two siblings so that they are guided in the correct life path. Interesting I know. What’s expected of the middle child? I don’t know. I’m sure my sister will enlighten me on that subject later. It’s all so funny to me now though as I look at family and at myself with my sisters as adults. Some things still remain the same as when we were kids. I guess we hold on to a part of our childhood this way. Whatever works.
So how do I end this blog post and what am I truly trying to say? I don’t know. I love my sisters and am SO grateful that GOD blessed me with such love in my life. Although we may not always say it or show it, my sisters and I know we care about each other and would do anything for the other. I couldn’t imagine life without sisters and think everyone needs one. When life comes crumbling down and your friends are nowhere to be found, your sisters are always there to catch you from falling. Sisters = bestfriends.
Filed under: Relationships, Uncategorized | 1 Comment
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